


Control

by Dragonist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mystery, No Uchiha Massacre, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-04-04 21:33:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14029191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonist/pseuds/Dragonist
Summary: Kumo kidnaps a child of Konoha.Sakura graduates from the academy only a year after starting it. There's a war going on, and she's obedient enough to stay quiet and follow orders.Then the war ends, and it's unclear who is really giving them.(a mystery from a child's perspective)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.
> 
> To make this fair, this is an exploration of how different Sakura's life could be if I made one tiny change to a part of canon that had nothing to do with her.
> 
> There will be no team 7, no apprenticeship to Tsuande, no rivalry with Ino, no crush on Sasuke.
> 
> To the best of my ability, I will attempt to keep everyone in character with their canon counterparts. For Sakura, that means ignoring everything except flashbacks to her earliest appearance. I've always viewed Sakura as the kind of smart kid who coasts through highschool, makes it to college, and never realizes they need to step up their game. She excells at the academy and her apprenticeship to Tsunade, but when she's left to her own devices in canon, she never invents anything for herself or applies herself to battle or training like the boys.
> 
> So, when I thought about what it would take for her to surpass them, I thought of a war. Most children who excel in school are teacher pleasers. They have an innate desire to make adults proud. I've taken that with Sakura and run with it. She makes genin not because she's a genius like Itachi and Kakashi, but because Konoha needs people to fetch and carry, and Sakura is a good girl and wants to help.
> 
> As Naruto's timeline is a fuzzy thing, I will be following this:
> 
> http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/User:Seelentau/Naruto_Timeline?useskin=oasis
> 
> Up until the Kumo kidnapping, everything is as in canon. So Minato is dead, Sarutobi is hokage, god knows what is still happening with Obito and Madara and Kaguya.
> 
> Unlike time travel or SI stories however, this Sakura is a child who doesn't know anything about how things should go in canon. So when things start to drastically differ, she won't notice, but I love it when you do in your comments.

Sakura's earliest memory takes place before she's even entered the academy. She's in her bed, sleeping, until suddenly she isn't. Her room seems unexpectedly giant. Dark shadows twist across the white expanse of her walls.

 

“Mommy?” she asks. “Daddy?”

 

The house is silent back at her.

 

It's a long way from her comfy cozy sheets to the cold floor. She clutches her stuffed rabbit to her chest. Soft, silky fur tickles her neck. She's scared.

 

Sakura toddles out of bed. Her knees buckle when her feet finally, finally land on something solid.

 

Sakura doesn't like the dark. The familiar corners of her house are twisty cavernous holes, each comforting creak a monster crouching in preparation to attack. But she needs to find her parents. She needs to make sure mommy and daddy are okay.

 

Her fingers dig tightly into her stuffed rabbit as she makes her way towards the door.

 

This is what she remembers. Being alone, scared, in a house that was usually warm and safe and home. The gargantuan effort it took to slowly scoot down each creaking step. How, when each shadow had been conquered, each fear brushed aside, she found herself huddled under the table in the kitchen, still alone, still unanswered, save for the heavy beat of the drums that shook the dishes in their cupboards.


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura glances nervously around the hallway. She doesn't recognize anybody but sensei. She's only been in the academy a year, but she's not sure if she's the youngest student here. All she knows is that she's definitely the smallest. She hunches her thin shoulders protectively, pink bangs falling in front of her eyes.

“What's forehead doing here,” a boy to her right says.

The girl he's talking to laughs. “Be nice,” she says. “She prolly won't have one much longer.”

Sakura tries not to listen to them.

Sensei calls them one at a time into the room. When it's Sakura's turn, she closes the door softly behind her and turns to face him nervously. “Alright Sakura-chan,” sensei smiles, and she can't help but smile back. “Can you show me a bunshin?”

Sakura closes her eyes. She'd only discovered her chakra a few months ago. It's hard to focus it, but she likes sensei. She concentrates on the feeling of her chakra flowing through her muscles and her veins. It moves fast and cold and bumpy, like one of those narrow bubbling streams that appear after the summer rains. 

Carefully, she manipulates her fingers into the proper hand signs. Pink hair, green eyes, her favorite red dress. Sensei smiling proudly next to her. 

When she opens her eyes, that's what she sees.

“Very good,” sensei says, marking something on his piece of paper. “Now, how about a substitution?”

Sakura wrinkles her forehead, unconsciously reaching up a hand to make sure her bangs are smoothed down. She can't afford to close her eyes. She stares hard at the log sensei has helpfully propped up against the far wall.

All living things have chakra. This log is fresh cut. Sakura looks deep inside of herself, digs further than she had to before. Her chakra flows sluggishly through her body, anchoring her feet to the ground and collecting in her fingertips. 

Her hands flex embarrassingly as a thin tendril of chakra shoots out towards the log. It wraps around it, seeking and leaking through the deadened channels.

When she's sure she has her chakra hooked firmly enough, she focuses on shaping the energy in her hands through the correct hand signs. 

 

For a second, she's a rubber band. Then she's grasping the wall for support, dizzy and tired and feeling like she's going to throw up.

“Acceptable,” sensei says. An ugly hot blush threatens to take over Sakura's face. “Henge?”

Sakura straightens up and steps away from the wall. This time, she can afford the luxury of closing her eyes. She thinks back to her first months at the academy, before she'd been moved up to the accelerated class. She had never worked up the nerve to talk to her, but she could still remember the loud, pretty girl who'd sat in the row in front of her.

Blonde hair, blue eyes. Pale skin. Sakura holds her image in her mind.

Her chakra is low. Reaching for it is like trying to catch rain in her hands with her fingers spread. Sakura guides just enough chakra to her fingertips, her toes, the tips of her ears. Carefully, she pulls as much as she dares, threading it down her hair and across her eyes.

“Henge,” she whispers, and when she opens her eyes, it's to her smiling sensei. She can see a faint reflection of a faint looking blonde in his glasses.

“Excellent!” sensei says. At his gesture, Sakura obediently twirls. It is only at his dismissive nod that she lets the transformation go. Pure pride is all that keeps her standing. The edges of her vision are hazy. She wants to sit right down, throw up, and then nap, in that order.

“Congratulations,” sensei says, and Sakura reaches out to grab the proffered cloth on reflex. “You are now a genin of Konohagakure.”

Suddenly Sakura is standing straight up, adrenaline coursing through her veins. “Thank you sensei!” she squeaks out. 

“Meet back here at noon to get your assignment,” sensei says. Sakura bows again in thanks then practically runs to the door.

The boy who teased her before is still waiting to go in, but Sakura is too happy to make any note of him. She's finally a genin! She thinks she has just enough time to make it home and eat something before she'll need to report back.

She practically runs home, tired feet tripping as often as they skipped. She unlocks the front door with the key tied around her neck. 

The fridge is empty save for a carton of eggs and drawer of mysterious leafy greens. The freezer has nothing except for a single plastic wrapped plate. She grabs three eggs, a handful of leaves, and the plate from the freezer.

She must have forgotten to unplug the rice cooker that morning because the rice is still hot and the edges are crisp. The eggs and hastily ripped vegetables go in a bowl; she spoons a good portion of rice on top and mixes it up. She shoves the bowl in the toaster oven and hastily turns the dial.

Sakura is very hungry.

Carefully, she peels back the preserving plastic. Happy Birthday Sakura is written in pretty pink frosting. From the drawer next to the sink, she takes out a big cutting knife. Half of the cupcake goes back into the plastic wrap. The other half she places on a plate. 

A hiss escapes her lips as she almost burns her fingertips on the toaster oven. The egg is half cooked, but she can't wait any longer. Half of the cupcake goes in the toaster, the other half back in the freezer, and Sakura digs into her rice. 

Her mommy had given her the cupcake a month ago. She must have stopped in to check on Sakura during a reporting day. Sakura had woken up to find a red dress lain out on her desk, enough money for two months of groceries if Sakura was careful - and she is always careful - and the cupcake sitting prettily on the counter. 

By the time she finishes the last grain of rice, Sakura figures the cupcake has surely been in there long enough to be ready to eat.

The frosting is soft and melted, pink smeared into chocolatey brown. The edges of the vanilla cake are crisp. The center is still icy frozen.

Sakura thinks it's the best thing she's ever tasted.

Sakura throws the dishes in the sink, makes sure the rice cooker is unplugged. The clock tells her she needs to hurry if she wants to be on time for her assignment.

The blue fabric of her headband is stiff underneath her fingers. She fluffs her bangs above it, ties it tight across her forehead, and hits the streets running.


	3. Chapter 3

Being a genin is a very important job. There are thousands of shinobi in the village, but a vast majority of them are either out at the front or taking a vacation in the hospital. That leaves lots of jobs for Sakura and the other newly promoted genin to do.

She helps out at the hospital a bunch. She's a good listener and a quick learner. They give her cloth to turn into bandages, and she's one of the best at cutting neat even strips. She likes being good at it.

She likes cleaning less. There is a lot of laundry to do at the hospital. Some days she goes home and washes and washes and washes her hands and still can't get the reek of bleach out of her skin. All the hospital whites have to be boiled and bleached to get all the muck out and be sanitary.

Some days she's assigned to work in the day care. There's much less bleach there, but Sakura doesn't really like caring for the babies. They're sticky and loud and stupid, and she can't believe she used to be as useless as they are just a few years ago. 

The worst days don't start to happen until the nurses notice just how neatly she cuts bandages, how cleanly she obediently takes down notes when she's allowed to assist with the patients.

Anesthesia is precious. They have a lot more injured shinobi than they have medic nin. For the patients that aren't important or critical enough to be treated by the proper healers, the nurses have to resort to more traditional methods.

Sakura has practiced with senbon in the academy. She wasn't very good at throwing them. Somehow it's different, even though she thinks it should be similar, to be holding a needle in her hand.

The patients Sakura helps the nurses with are strapped down, usually. The tables have long, narrow channels in them. Before, Sakura had only seen them on the days she was responsible for cleaning, and she always wondered how they had become filled so many different fluids and debris.

Now she knows.

She likes these days the least.

\-------

She's been a genin for half a year when she's assigned to her first mission near the front.

Her team is almost there when her mission leader, a chunin, freezes. Sakura and her fellow genin, a brown haired boy, obediently follow suit.

There's a cruel wind headed towards them. She syncs her breathing with the rustling of the leaves.

When Sakura looks to see what the chunin wants them to do, she can't find him. Her partner is fidgeting. Sakura elbows him in the side, makes eye contact, then draws upon her chakra to perform henge.

She regrets not knowing any genjutsu. Instead of being able to project an aura of unimportance, she instead turns herself into just another leafy branch of their tree. 

Her partner follows suit just in time. Sakura can hear the quiet crunching and cracking of branches and leaves that denotes the fact that they have unpleasant company.

Three shinobi burst through the far edge of the clearing below the trees Sakura's team is perched in. Their headbands don't bear the characteristic leaf Sakura is so familiar with. Suddenly, her mouth is full of blood.

The enemy shinobi aren't wasting any time. For a second, Sakura hopes they'll stay hidden and leave the enemy unaware - but they're headed the same direction Sakura's team just came from.

No one can be allowed to reach the village.

The chunin must realize this the same second Sakura does, because he darts off their perch before the enemy can pass them by. He runs perpendicular to their path, and Sakura doesn't understand why until two of the enemy shinobi skid to a stop.

The third runs on, straight into razor sharp wire. He jumps at the last moment, metal shining in a glare of sunlight. Instead of catching him just above the waist, the wire slices deep into his left leg. When he lands, his foot flops to the side, ankle severed almost in half.

Half a year into her genin career and Sakura is still smaller than her peers. She doesn't even spare the half second required to size up the other two opponents. 

It's not that she's brave, or that she particularly wants to fight. But she's spent the past few months in the hospital, sewing up her village’s people, people these monsters might have sent to her. She's fueled by righteous anger and chilled bone deep with fear. 

This is what she knows. There are three enemy shinobi, one for each of her team. She's smaller and weaker than both of her teammates by magnitudes. 

She dives out of her tree the second she guesses the foreign nin won't clear the wire. By the time he hits the ground in an off balance crouch, she's right above him. There's a kunai clenched tight in her right hand as she hooks her left around his neck.

She doesn't weigh much, but it's enough to upset his balance. He stumbles to his left, cut muscle and bone giving out on him. Sakura drives her right hand towards his throat.

He's bigger than her, the muscles of his arms swelling five times the circumference of her own. The skin of his throat is just as soft as hers though, and the tip of her kunai pierces it like taut paper.

Even as she slits his throat, he catches her shoulder with a flailing slap. Sakura's grip slips. Her kunai digs further across his throat, but less deeply, and she ends up slicing a ragged tear through her own left arm.

She flinches, desperately kicking off of his back to launch herself away. She lands with a stumble, her right ankle giving out on her with a vicious twist.

The forests of the Land of Fire are dark and deep and old. Gnarled, twisted branches line the grassy ground. Sakura doesn't have time to focus. She desperately throws her chakra, latches on, and pulls.

She means to leave a bunshin in her place, but her ankle is already starting to swell, and her arm is steadily dripping bright arterial blood. 

She's gotten better with the rebound since her genin test, and her head is cleared before the dust her replacement kicked up has settled. Her opponent is sprawled across the grass, one hand pressed weakly to his throat. The chunin has his by the wrists. He's kneeling on her back, trying to keep her from flipping them.

Sakura's head is pounding. She throws up a mixture of stomach bile and blood as she forms the hand signals for another replacement. She's been still for longer than a second and she hasn't managed to spot the third nin or her last teammate. She can't afford to sit still and recover.

She lands a few feet from the chunin, her same bloody kunai ready in her hand. Throwing is still not one of her talents, but even she can make a target from that distance. 

The kunai leaves her hand the moment she feels the new grass settle underneath her body. The pinned shinobi jerks her head down quickly enough to protect her neck, but the sharp blade still catches on her cheek, lodging deep enough that Sakura can see the tip tear through the bottom of her jaw.

The chunin is quick to take advantage, pinning her wrists to her back with one hand as he draws a short sword from his side. He drives it smoothly through her back before flipping off. The sword twists as it's pulled back through her flesh. Sakura keeps her eyes on the downed kunoichi while he darts away to hopefully help her teammate deal with the remaining shinobi.

Sakura tries to stand before collapsing gracelessly to the bloodied grass. There's a giant hole in the woman's back, but her fear drives her to be thorough. She shakily pulls another kunai from her weapons pouch and throws it as hard as she can towards the woman's now unguarded neck.

It's difficult, to ignore her fears and worries and turn her attention to her own injuries, but she has to trust in her team. Her arm is still steadily dripping blood. Sakura's slippery fingers fumble with the straps of her backpack. 

By the time she manages to get the right compartment open, her teeth are chattering. It was a cold day before they'd engaged in battle. Now, adrenaline leaving her system, Sakura is acutely aware of how freezing the wind feels against her wet clothes. 

It's awkward, trying to bandage her own arm. She ignores the pain screaming down her nerves and presses it against a tree, pulling the bandage taught with her teeth and free hand. Her ankle is already a swollen mess. She slips off both of her sandals and winces as she tries to sit with her legs side by side. 

There's noticeable deformation along the exterior curve of her foot up to about three inches past her ankle. When she presses a curious finger against the swollen mass, she has to close her eyes against the searing pain, but as long as she isn't putting any pressure on it, she doesn't feel anything. 

She hopes it isn't broken.

She wraps her ankle the best she can then uses the tree to help get herself to her feet. 

Her two teammates have managed to dispatch the last shinobi. The genin seems fine. There's a scrape along his bare arm that's pebbled with splinters, and he’s wrapped his hand in a makeshift bandage torn from his shirt. The chunin looks wild, a horizontal cut across his nose bleeding sluggishly and his eyes shining bright red.

Physically, Sakura's pretty beat, but her chakra still simmers agreeably underneath her skin. Once her teammates have gathered the three bodies in a haphazard pile and stripped them of their valuables, she obediently hobbles over and kneels. 

She closes her eyes and pictures her chakra as a raging bonfire, consuming everything in its path. When she opens her eyes, her lips part too, and hot fire licks across the corpses.


	4. Chapter 4

Working on the front is much, much different from working in the village.

For one thing, there aren't any children here for her to have to mind. Sakura enjoys that part.

There also isn't a hospital for her to have to clean. That makes her happy too.

Sakura quickly finds out that a hospital isn't strictly necessary for one of her least favorite jobs.

Her aim is bad and her footwork is sloppy. That alone wouldn't be enough to save her from the worst of the battlefields, because no one is saved out here. Despite their relative ages, they are all adults under military law. 

Once again, it's her small hands that they want her for.

“Sakura-chan!” her patient says. “How is Konoha’s budding flower today?” At her arrival, he had jumped to his feet. There's a long, lazy slash running across his leg, blood leaking all over his uniform

“Hello Gai-senpai,” she says, taking ahold of his arm and pulling him back down into his seat. She glances uneasily back at door to the medical tent, but no nurse follows her in.

Her patient beams at her. His smile is shiny and white and perfect, something Sakura can't quite believe after all the times she's had to stitch him up. She wonders if there's medical jutsu to regrow lost teeth.

“Do you want to change?” Sakura asks as she rifles through her medical bag for tweezers and needles and thread. Gai picks dejectedly at his torn leggings.

“I'm afraid this is another suit ruined!” he says. Sakura picks up a pair of sharp fabric scissors.

“I'm going to cut the material off now,” she says slowly and carefully. She waits for his nod before she approaches and kneels before him.

Gai is strong. He's a front line fighter. Even just trimming the bloodied green fabric, Sakura can see the the thick muscles in his thigh tense and knows he could kick her clear out of the room with as much effort as it would take her to shake her sandals off.

Treating the shinobi at the front is at least a little better than back at the village. Here, everyone she sees is still in top shape. No one has to be tied down or knocked unconscious. She still doesn't use much anesthesia, but that's more because of each patient's preference than anything else.

The cut on Gai’s leg is shallow but dirty. Sakura takes a bottle of water and carefully flushes out most of the debris. “I'm going to use tweezers now to get out some of the dirt,” she says seriously.

Gai ruffles her hair. His palm is huge. His fingers stretch so far she can almost see the tips of them hovering past her forehead. “Of course’” he says. “I promise I will bear with it!”

As she picks splinters and pebbles out of his raw skin, he asks her about her training.

“Well,” Sakura says distractedly, nose scrunched as she delicately tried to pull out a piece of wood lodged deep into his thigh, “I tried the exercise routine you recommended, but the next day my arms were like noodles and I got in trouble because I couldn't help carry supplies.”

Gai's laughter booms through the small tent. “Ah, did you over do it? That is one of the greatest joys of training! To push yourself so far that your limits are broken and must reform!”

Sakura reaches for the bottle of water and flushes out more dislodged dirt. “It was easier carrying my backpack after I kept it up for a couple of weeks,” she says.

“That's the spirit!” She listens with half an ear as Gai describes more stretches she can attempt to try and improve her flexibility and reach. By the time his lecture is dying down, his wound is almost completely cleaned and disinfected.

“Do you want me to sew you up or should I fetch a nurse?” Sakura asks. Gai is important, a jounin. Treating him makes her nervous. She doesn't want to mess him up.

“Are you still working hard on perfecting your own mystic palms technique?” Where another shinobi might be making fun of her, Gai is sincere. Sakura fights back a blush. She doesn't really want to be a medic nin, but if it's what is good for the village, she is going to try her best at it.

“I've almost got it, I think,” she says, “but I want to try it on some more of the prisoners before I go and use it on you.”

Sakura has never had many friends. There are her parents, of course, but she hasn't seen much of them since the war started. She'd left the academy before she'd had much of a chance to make any there.

Gai-senpai is the first person to ever really pay attention to her. She's not sure why he likes her. She's small and still pretty useless in a fight if she doesn't have the advantage of surprise.

Gai-senpai is tall and strong and huge. She doesn't think he's afraid of anything. Sakura wants to grow up and be just like him one day.


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura doesn't pay much attention to the new genin. It's not that she has something against them. It's that they usually have something against her.

She's been on the border for three and a half months now. That's two months longer than the average genin makes it. The worst part is that's it's obvious she's not here because she's a prodigy or a genius, because Sakura isn’t anything like even the average genin. Not even close.

Despite Gai-senpai's advice, her arms and legs are still thin. She hasn't had her first growth spurt, and she has no reach worth speaking of.

So, when a new team of fresh genin and chunin show up at the outpost, Sakura ducks into the medical shelter and doesn't come out until her fingers are shaky from having to hold still for so long. A hard faced nurse takes pity on her and sends her to bed, so she doesn't have to help the new arrivals settle in.

It's still early. She tries to fall asleep, obediently lying down and closing her eyes, but sleep doesn't come.

There's not much to do at the outpost camp for fun. Sakura doesn't really like training. It's boring, running laps and doing push-ups by herself. But somehow lying here unable to sleep is even more boring than that, so she reluctantly drags herself out of her sleeping bag and marches out of the tent.

She tries to make up games. Run up that tree and cut off a branch and try to find the biggest leaf. Then pick a faraway tree and run up there and try to beat it. 

Each leaf she finds she can't hold though, because that's cheating. She's gotta stick them to her arms, her face, her legs. Anywhere but her hands.

It's harder for her to practice ninjutsu. Her chakra pool is tiny. She watches the medic nin do their fancy healing, and even the shinobi on break when they are practicing, and is so, so, so jealous of how much they can do. 

She's forbidden from using too much chakra in case she's needed the next day, so she can only perform a few jutsu each evening.

Her favorite to practice is the replacement technique. 

Sakura runs to the top of a tree, opens her eyes wide, and jumps.

Branches rush past her, twigs and leaves crackling against her legs where she hasn't pushed herself far enough from the trunk to clear them. The ground comes closer and closer, waiting to eat her up.

There.

She tosses a kunai as she marshalls her chakra, sweeping it through her body and out her hand, and manages to snag a thread of it on the now loose branch. Her hands twist through the proper seals.

Her momentum isn't transferred, and suddenly she's jolted to a stop. For a moment, she hangs free in the air. 

Across the clearing, the branch hits the ground.

Sakura’s arms wrap around whatever she can grasp as she anchors her feet to the trunk. Success!

As a baby, she used to be scared of heights. Now, she can walk up walls and trees, can hurl herself from as high as she can get and still land safely. 

One day, she wants to learn how to fly.

She practices until her muscles are shaking and her chakra bubbles low in her tummy. She brushes the worst of the debris from her hair and reluctantly waves goodbye to the trees. 

It's still not quite dark, so Sakura grabs her brush from her backpack and goes to ask the chunin in charge of the reports if there's any extra scrap paper.

“Sure thing,” he says. When he smiles, the scar across his nose crinkles. “I've been saving it for you.”

Sakura bows quickly, her lose pink hair flopping around her face. “Thank you senpai!” she squeaks.

All medic nin have to do something with their hands. Some of them carve branches of wood into birds and dogs and cute little animals. Some of them like to embroider. It's important to keep their fingers dextrous. They need to be able to perform careful, detailed surgeries.

Sakura is still too clumsy with a kunai to carve anything and sick of having to hold the tiny needles in her hands, so she writes.

In the academy, she had taken the neatest notes. Now, she tries to focus more on the careful curve of the swirls, the smooth tapering points of her flourishes.

Falling from the sky, she writes. Rain crashes against the tree. The leaf kisses ground.

By the time the sun is setting too deep into the trees to see, she's almost exhausted her stash of paper. Carefully, she gathers her work up and carries it back to her tent. She lays out each drawing flat outside. She hopes it won't rain.

When she finally lies down to sleep, she rolls over to put her back to the door. She is so shocked to see dark eyes peering back at her that she lets out an odd sort of yelp.

“Do you like art?” says the boy. He whispers it like a secret.

Sakura’s cheeks burn, embarrassed to be caught unawares. But there's a Konoha hiate tied around his forehead, so she settles herself back down.

“I like calligraphy,” she says. It's dark in the tent with the sun setting. The boy is rustling through something, but she can't tell what it is. He lies down on his stomach next to her and spreads a sketchbook in front of them.

Despite herself, Sakura perks up. 

“Watch,” he says. He draws a kanji for bird.

Like a cat waking up from a nap, the kanji shivers then stretches itself up from the page. It unfolds into wings, and Sakura rolls over onto her back to watch it swoop around the tent.

It finally lands, quivering, on her nose. When she reaches a hand up to it, it shivers again and presses itself into her palm.

The boy gently takes her wrist and presses her hand to the page. The kanji peels itself back onto the paper.

It's the first thing she's seen since being at the front that's simply... "Beautiful," she says.


	6. Chapter 6

Sakura is helping the medics when someone clears their throat.

“Sai!” Her fingers carefully do not move even as she twists her body to see him. 

“Sakura-chan,” the supervising genin warns her. “Focus on what you're doing.” The patient is thankfully silent, his face buried in a book.

She wants to rush through and see what Sai wants because she hasn't seen him in forever, but she wants to be scolded less. She reluctantly stitches the last inch of the patient's left forearm closed as carefully as she can.

Finally, the genin leans over her and professes her work adequate. When Sakura twirls around, Sai is still patiently waiting. She washes her hands quickly as he takes a scroll from his pocket. 

“I need to borrow Sakura for a mission,” Sai says to her supervisor. Sakura’s hands slip, thudding against the side of the water basin. A real mission! With Sai!

“Good luck,” the genin says with a smile. His glasses glint in the bright light when Sai opens the door to the outside. Sakura isn't positive, but she thinks the patient even mumbles the same through his novel.

Outside, the sun is still high in the sky. “Where are we going?” Sakura asks Sai. She's trying to walk slow and steady like he is, but she's so excited it's hard to keep pace. 

Sai smiles like a doll and only usually when Sakura is the only one there to witness. It makes her feel special, like it's a secret. “There have been rumors from Kumogakure,” he says. “I have been assigned to an infiltration team. I requested you for backup.”

An espionage mission across the border! Sakura is so excited, she can hardly wait. 

Sai supervises her packing with a critical eye. “What about this?” Sakura asks, holding up a pair of black pants and a matching tunic.

“Too dark,” he says. 

She throws the clothes to the side and digs deeper. “This?” She holds up her favorite red dress. “It's getting a little small,” she says doubtfully.

“Try it on,” Sai says.

To her happy surprise, Sai approves of it. “We're pretending to be civilian children,” he says. “Leave your weapons behind.”

Her bag feels oddly light when Sai has given his final seal of approval. “Are we going just us?” She asks as they make their way to the gates.

“No,” a warm voice answers her. She glances at Sai. His face has gone porcelain smooth. 

The man at the gate is tall. When he places his hands on his knees and bends down to greet them, Sakura gets one look at his face and thinks he has the prettiest eyelashes she's ever seen on anybody, girl or boy.

“I'll be taking care of the both of you,” he says. His vest marks him as a jounin. 

“Thank you very much for letting me come along!” Sakura says. She bows jerkily in her excitement. When she peeks through her hair, she sees the jonin smiling at her. His face is serious but kind.

“You can thank Sai. He insisted you would be an asset on the mission,” he says. Sakura’s cheeks burn as she ducks her head to hide her grin. When she glances at Sai, he is as stone faced as ever.

They're traveling to a village that isn't too far north. For the first couple hours, they run through the trees. It's difficult work because the jounin is a very fast runner. Sakura has to push herself as hard as she can just to keep up.

“Alright,” the jounin says. They've stopped for lunch. He hands each of them a bland tasting ration bar. “Have you practiced hiding your chakra, Sakura?” 

Sakura has to choke down a very dry mouthful before she can respond. Sai hands her a water flask without her needing to ask, and she grabs at it gratefully. “I’ve practiced a little,” she finally manages to say.

The jounin smiles at her. “Well,” he says quietly, “I'll you a secret.” Sakura perks up, starting at him expectantly. “Since sensor types as so rare, all you need to is be sure you don't use any jutsu unless it's a fire emergency, okay?”

She slumps back down, crossing her arms in a pout. “That's your secret?” 

The jounin gently ruffles her hair. “There shouldn't be any conflict on this mission,” he says. “All I need you and Sai to do is play nicely while I meet some people and talk. Do you think you can do that for me?”

Sai says yes, but Sakura is too busy trying not to roll her eyes to agree. This jounin is nice, but she thinks he hasn't been a kid for so long he's forgotten what it's like. She and Sai are genin. Playing is for babies.

After lunch, the jounin bundles each of them under a separate arm. “Hold on tight,” he says and the world flashes by in bursts of color.

When the world finally stops moving, he sets the two of them down gently. Sakura dizzily holds onto his leg for support.

“Alright now,” the man says. “I'm going to be Sai's older brother, and you're our cousin. Please get along!”

They have to walk the last mile into the village. It's strange having to move at so slow a pace. When Sakura and her team finally make it inside the village walls, she's not very impressed. It's not anywhere near the size of Konoha. It's hardly as big as the outpost.

Their jounin leader makes boring small talk with a few store vendors while Sakura makes increasingly weirder faces at Sai. “What is the purpose of this activity,” he whispers to her. It's not very nice of her, but she sees why Sai wanted her to come along. He's terrible at playing. She looks around for their leader. He is politely commiserating with some old fishmonger about her lost cat, so she judges it safe to grab Sai by the hand and pull him off toward a weathered dango stand. 

“We're supposed to be having fun, silly,” she says. She digs through her pockets and pulls out some change. “Two sticks of dango,” she says, then remembers, “please!”

The dango seller, an old man with a mustache, frowns down at her. “Are you here by yourself?” 

“Older brother is over there,” Sai says woodenly. Sakura smiles her biggest smile next to him.

“Vagrants,” the man mutters as he takes Sakura’s money and turns around.

They eat their sweets sitting on the edge of the dirt street. Sakura is so happy to have the treat, she doesn't even let Sai’s complaints bother her.

“This food is very sticky,” he says. “It would be cleaner and easier to eat without the syrup.” 

She likes Sai, but he doesn't know very much about candy. “You can pick where we get snacks next time then,” she says generously.

Their leader fetches them when they've resorted to cloud watching. “Alright kids,” he says, “time to head back to uncle’s.”

They walk a couple miles along the winding dirt road before the jounin once again bundles them under his arms and flashes them away. 

“Sai, what did you notice today?” While Sai straightens up, Sakura leans dizzily against a tree.

“The vendors were suspicious of us,” Sai says, “both as travelers and unaccompanied children. I didn't notice any civilian children outside. The carts were worn down, but there were no beggars. Potentially this village has been evacuated and civilians are beginning to return, but there were no signs of a major battle occuring.”

The jounin turns to Sakura. “What do you think, Sakura?”

She steps away from the tree and locks her hands behind her back. “Well,” she says hesitantly, “there could have been some sort of illness,” she pauses, “or they could be preemptively evacuating because they're scared their village might be hit next.” She sounds the words out carefully, hoping to keep her stuttering to a minimum.

“Not bad, you two,” the jounin says. He stands up, and they follow him home through the trees


	7. Chapter 7

Most everyone is too busy to give her lessons. The medic nin run themselves ragged, and most of the other shinobi are either at the front or on mandated vacation. Sometimes Sai helps her with her taijutsu, but he's a better fighter and saboteur than she is. Even he's gone a lot on missions across the border.

There is one genin who's a genius with medical ninjutsu and not much else. That means he has time to show Sakura some tricks when the hospital doesn't need them.

“Kabuto-senpai?” Sakura says. The tent is closed off, but she can hear faint groaning emanating from someone inside. 

“Come in, Sakura-chan.” When she walks inside the tent, Kabuto’s back blocks her view. There's something laying on the table. “Are you ready to practice?”

Sakura glances behind her. “Are you sure it's okay?” she asks.

Kabuto turns to face her. His glasses glint merrily from the light cast by the lanterns. “Of course, Sakura-chan.” He reaches out to pull her next to him. “Interrogation is finished here.”

There's a body spread out on the cheap fold up table. 

Sakura obediently rinses her hands in the tub of water. Kabuto says it's important to practice good sanitation even if it doesn't matter for these sessions.

“Let's start with the feet,” Kabuto says. He holds a thin metal scalpel in one hand and a pair of big tweezers in the other.

When he pierces the body's skin, a muffled scream fills the tent. Kabuto's scalpel slips, tearing a ragged gash deep into the exposed muscle.

Kabuto frowns. “Sakura-chan,” he says in a pleasant voice, “it looks like our specimen isn't properly secured.”

“Yes, Kabuto-senpai.” Sakura stares determinedly at the foot. Blood is swelling out of the cut. 

“Please hold these for me, Sakura-chan.” The scalpel and tweezers are heavier than they look. Kabuto walks towards the far end of the table and tightens the restraints.

“I would appreciate it if you would try to stay quiet for the duration of our lesson,” he says in a pleasant voice. The muffled protestations cease. 

“Alright, Sakura-chan.” She has to hold back a shiver as Kabuto places his hand upon hers. His skin feels feverish against her own. “I'll help guide you.”

His voice is low and smooth. There's a musical note to it, like he's always one second away from singing what he's going to say.

“Like this?” Sakura asks. It's difficult. The skin is unexpectedly tough to slice through, but if she presses too hard, she cuts into the muscle below.

“Here,” Kabuto says. He pulls a little on her hand, adjusting her grip so her scalpel meets skin at a different angle. “Try to keep the amount of pressure you apply consistent throughout your strokes, Sakura-chan.”

After she does her best at skinning the foot, Kabuto quizzes her on the different bones and muscles. “There are twenty-six bones in the human foot,” he says. “How many of them can you name?”

Sakura points with the tweezers. “The phalanges,” she says, making her way from the toes down, “the metatarsals.” She hesitates. “I know one of these is the cuneiform, and the other the cuboid,” she says, pointing at each side of the foot.

“Very good, Sakura-chan.” Kabuto places his hand on hers and gently tugs until the tweezers point at the correct spot. “Underneath here is the cuboid,” he says then moves the tweezers, “here is the cuneiform.”

After they finish naming the bones, Kabuto helps her with the muscles. Even though she can see them, she still has a harder time remembering which is which. She likes the finality with how bones end. Muscles are trickier.

“Very good,” Kabuto finally says. “I know it's boring to learn these names, and it doesn't matter much if you're working on your own,” he lectures. Kabuto's funny like that, always going on about something he thinks is important. Sakura thinks he's going to make a great teacher someday.

“But if you ever need to work with a partner in surgery, it's important you both be able to clearly communicate.” Kabuto smiles at her. Unlike Sai, Kabuto smiles with his whole face. Somehow his smiles still make Sakura think of her serious faced friend.

“Anyway, that's enough memorization for now.” Kabuto gently takes the tweezers out of her hand and places them near the scalpel. “How is your chakra feeling today?”

Sakura closes her eyes and tries to ignore the sticky feeling of her slowly drying fingers. It takes a while to settle her tummy and focus on the feeling of her chakra flowing through her body.

“I think I'm ready,” she says and opens her eyes.   
Kabuto smiles again. “Good,” he says, “now, watch carefully.” He holds his hand up. A soft green glow slowly covers his skin. “Direct your chakra to your palm. Medical jutsu requires an even mixture of yin and yang chakra. There are no hand seals, so make sure you focus on projecting an intent to heal.” 

Finally noticing Sakura’s worried face, Kabuto lets out a short laugh. “Don't worry Sakura-chan, just try your best!”

Head reeling a little from Kabuto's rapid fire instructions, Sakura purses her lips and tries to focus. Slowly, a wavering green film covers her right hand. 

“Very good,” Kabuto says. “Now, try to heal this.” He takes the scalpel and cuts a thin line above the body's ankle.

Sakura reaches towards the cut before pausing. “What happens if I don't have the right mixture of chakra?” she asks.

“Don't worry, you won't get in trouble no matter what happens to this girl,” Kabuto says kindly. He ruffles her hair gently. Kabuto-senpai is great like that, always trying his hardest to make her feel comfortable. "It'll be a good learning experience either way.”


	8. Chapter 8

She and Sai are assigned a delivery mission. They are responsible for transporting a sealed scroll to the western outpost. “And don't open it,” the chunin tells them sternly.

“Yes, sir!” Sakura says. Sai nods his agreement.   
Sakura packs her bag carefully. She brings kunai, of course. But also snacks and a thin blanket and her calligraphy brush, in case they have to stay there for a while and she needs something to do.

Sai is waiting for her at the gates. He carries his sketch book in his arms.

“We’re off!” Sakura says, and the gate guard lets them go. 

The trees that fill the forests of the Land of Fire are giant and old, older than any of the people that live in them. Sai leaps from ground to branch to branch until he's high enough that all the boughs will easily support them. Sakura runs up the trunk after him. She's still not confident enough to jump straight up.

Running missions with Sai is fun. Sakura likes to play tag with him. They hold fake scrolls on their chests with chakra and take turns sneaking up on each other to steal them away. They take a lot of turns because it's a long, long way to the western outpost.

They stop after a few hours to have lunch. “Here,” Sakura holds out an onigiri the head nurse slipped her when she told him she'd be leaving on a mission. “You can have half.”

Sai’s smiles are still a little stiff even though they've been roommates for a long time now. “You can have half of my ration bar then,” he says.

Sakura tries not to make a face because she's glad he's sharing, even if ration bars are gross. They eat quickly, take a few minutes to stretch, then head back to the treetops.

She's not positive, but she thinks Sai is a little older than her. He's a better shinobi than her for sure. Her legs are shivering from exhaustion by the time he decides they should stop for the night. He ushers her close then opens his sketchbook like a secret.

He draws a fox with sharp teeth and claws, and she claps in excitement when it peels itself off of the page. “Let's gather wood,” he says.

It's difficult work because the wood has to be completely dry to make a fire that won't smoke. Sakura makes three trips around their campsite and then takes out her kunai to peel the bark from each branch.

Sai brings her dried leaves. She carefully clears a nice wide circle in the dirt. The leaves go first, then the smallest of the twigs and branches. Her chakra happily pools in her mouth. She breathes out a small red flame that licks up the kindling and sets it ablaze.

Sai’s fox returns with a little bunny. Sakura watches carefully as Sai skins it with a clean kunai and then skewers it on a stick. She wonders if Kabuto-senpai could show her how to separate the skin from the muscles with chakra.

Sakura pulls out her blanket and the two of them have a nice dinner underneath the stars.

“We should camp further along,” Sai says once they've finished eating. He carefully kicks dirt over the fire pit. Sakura gathers leaves and branches, and together they erase the signs of their presence.

They hole up in a tree root hollow. There isn't much space between the gnarled branches, but she and Sai are small and curl up next to each other.

“Should one of us keep watch?” Sakura asks.

Sai looks at her, his pupils blown wide in the sparse moonlight. “You should rest,” he says.

Their feet tangle together. It's a struggle for Sakura to pull her blanket from her pack in the tight confines underneath the tree. She wraps it close around the both of them.

“Goodnight,” she whispers.

When she draws her hand back, Sai looks for a long time at the blanket she's tucked around him. “Goodnight,” he finally says.

She pushes her forehead against his chest. Despite the chill of the ground, her exhausted legs see her off to a fast sleep.

\-------

She wakes three times in the night. Each time, Sai's eyes are open to meet hers. “Sleep,” he whispers.

The fourth time, dawn is just breaking. She wriggles her way out of the hollow, leaving Sai the blanket. 

She waffles at the edge of the clearing. She has to pee but doesn't want to leave Sai too far away. When she's done her business, she uses leaves to wipe as best she can. Camping is gross and dirty, and it makes her feel like she's some kind of feral animal, like a raccoon or a fox. She likes it.

When she makes her way back to the tree, Sai's halfway out of the hollow. They breakfast on ration bars and make their way back to the treetops.

They're almost at the western outpost when Sai grabs Sakura by the hand. He raises a finger to his lips, and she strains her ears.

Up ahead, the clash of steel on steel echoes through the trees.

They dart forward more carefully than before, until the branches part just far enough that they can see the carnage laid before them.

Three shinobi with Konoha hiate - two shinobi - are still standing, twisting and flashing through the dense undergrowth. The forest floor is carpeted with bodies and blood.

Faster than Sakura can see, foreign nin lacking forehead protectors slice their way through the defenders.

She's never been this close to a fight between elites before. She's hardly taken a breath before the second to last Konoha shinobi falls. 

The remaining shinobi is slight of stature. Her hair is long and free. She's paralyzed, eyes wide as she takes in the fallen form of her comrade, and Sakura is moving before Sai can think to take ahold of her arm.

Sakura slams into her side, jolting her off balance and out of the path of the foreign nin’s sword. It slices diagonally a spare centimeter above Sakura’s pink hair. Split ends drift in the wind torn up in its wake.

She'd started forming the seals for the replacement technique the moment she'd launched herself off the tree, but even as she finishes the jutsu, the man kicks her in the shoulder with the force of an avalanche.

She reappears a scant twenty feet away. She can't move her left arm. Desperately, she scrabbles back into a prickly bush, fear tainting her senses and clouding the edges of her vision black.

Steel clangs against steel, and she opens eyes she doesn't remember closing. The kunoichi she'd rescued stands in front of her, sandals skidding back but not slipping as she parries the enemy’s blow.

A wicked tiger, black as sin, snarls as it launches itself through the air and tackles the intruder to the ground. Strong small hands wrap underneath Sakura’s arms and pull her to her feet.

“Sai!” Sakura chokes out. The boy spins, keeping Sakura close at his back. Another foreigner, a kunoichi, charges at them with a wicked spiked club held high. 

Sakura wraps her working arm around Sai, bracing him as he raises a short sword just in time to deflect the club from crushing them. Instead, the blow sends both of them tumbling back. Sakura’s injured shoulder screams with pain as she lands awkwardly in the grass in her attempt to cushion Sai's fall.

The kunoichi snears at them. Before she can take another step towards them, however, her face freezes. She opens her mouth and coughs blood.

The Konoha kunoichi steps out from behind her. Casually, she holds the sword of the first shinobi in a loose, one handed grip.

The clearing is silent save for the steady drip of bright arterial blood that runs down its silvery length.

“Are you injured?” the kunoichi asks them. Her voice is deep and husky. Sai pulls himself off Sakura then offers her a helping hand. Their ally’s red eyes narrow sharply when Sakura, trying not to whimper, can't hide an aborted wince. Her shoulder burns as she slowly pulls herself up to a sitting position.

The kunoichi lightly runs her hand over the injury. “Don't bite your tongue,” she warns her, then grabs her by the upper arm and collarbone and shoves.

“Sakura!” Sai grips her hand tight at her aborted scream. She digs her fingers deep into his palm. Tentatively, she tries to roll her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she says when she can finally force herself to speak. The kunoichi nods brusquely.

“We were tasked with finding the western outpost,” Sai says. Sakura could swear the kunoichi freezes yet again when she takes in the entirety of Sai’s face. She looks over her friend worriedly, but she can't see any signs of injury.

“You found it,” is all the kunoichi says. Dispassionately, she turns and begins to sort through the bodies. “Let me search them for traps, then stack the dead near that tree,” she orders them softly.

Sakura and Sai quickly comply. It's hard and messy work, taking care of bodies. Sakura makes a note to ask Kabuto-senpai if people gain weight when they die. There's no other reason it can be so difficult to drag them across the clearing. It takes Sai and her both to move the shinobi only five feet over.

They burn the enemy and allied dead. The kunoichi kneels and breathes blue fire so hot, the corpses crisp into ashes in seconds.


	9. Chapter 9

“We have a scroll for the commander,” Sakura says. Sai takes it from his pack and obediently hands it over.

The kunoichi scans the missive. Her thin lips are pressed into a hard line. “I'll escort you back to the central outpost,” is all she tells them.

There's a cut on the side of her chest that is sluggishly leaking blood. “Excuse me,” Sakura says timidly. She digs into her backpack and pulls out a set of bandages. “Can I help you with your wounds?”

“Are you a medic?” Sakura glances away from the piercing red eyes, embarrassed. 

“Sakura is an accomplished trainee,” Sai says. Sakura neck cracks as she whirls around to face him. 

“Very well,” the kunoichi says and abruptly pulls off her shirt.

Sakura gasps, hand snagging on Sai’s neck and forcing the both of them to stare at the grassy floor. She peeks up after a second to see their ally's unamused mien. 

Not a kunoichi then.

“My name is Haruno Sakura,” she says as she nervously takes a step towards the shirtless shinobi.

“And your partner?” The man asks idly. Despite his soft voice, his body is tense. His pectorals shiver when Sakura rests a tentative palm above his ribs.

“Sai,” she says when it becomes apparent the boy won't speak for himself. The cut isn't too deep, but it's also not very clean. The man is already twitchy though, so she doesn't think he'll let her take the time to fix that.

“What's your name?” she asks. When she glances up at his face, his red eyes have turned black.

He doesn't reply until she's finished wrapping his chest. “Itachi,” he finally says.

The sun is near setting, but Itachi leads them to the trees anyway. Sakura’s shoulder still aches, and her legs are shaky from adrenaline, but she doesn't want to be a baby and complain.

She follows Sai and Itachi as best as she can, but she only lasts an hour before she finds Itachi on the branch next to her. Sai flashes to her a side a moment later, his face as still as always.

“Are you tired?” Itachi asks. 

Sakura is beyond tired. She is hungry and aching and exhausted, but his question still draws hot tears to the corners of her eyes.

“I can go further,” she says stubbornly. 

Itachi’s brow furrows the slightest amount. “My bag pulls at my bandages,” he says. “Do you think you could hold it, and then I'll carry you for a while to let my chest rest?”

Sakura hesitates. She glances at Sai. His face is pale, not even a sheen of sweat glistening to betray some sort of exhaustion. 

“Okay,” she whispers.

Itachi slips his backpack off. Sakura takes it obediently into her arms. It's heavier than she is ready for, and Sai steadies her with an arm behind her back when she almost slips off into the cold night air.

She's not sure what she's expecting, but it isn't for Itachi to sweep both of his arms around her. She ends up bundled tight against his chest, her face resting in the crook of his neck.

Itachi and Sai take off at an even faster pace than before. Itachi is thin and lean. There's not much cushioning between the two of them, but his arms are strong and his pace steady. She soon falls into a comfortable state of drowsiness.

“How old are you?” Itachi asks. The question jolts her out of her hazy dreams. She's not sure how far they've traveled.

“Seven,” she mumbles against his neck. His long hair tickles her nose. “Sai’s eight. I think it's gonna be my birthday soon and then I'll be eight too.”

He's silent for so long Sakura almost slips back into sleep. “Ah,” he finally says, and Sakura struggles to keep her eyes open. “Congratulations.”

When Sakura wakes up next, she's inside her tent. She knows it's hers because she can hear her calligraphy rustling in the light wind outside. She rolls over, instinctively reaching out.

Sai rests next to her. His face is slack in sleep. He's so tired he doesn't even wake up at her touch.

As quiet as she can, she slips herself out of her blanket and heads outside. The moon is high in the sky. 

The makeshift hospital is silent but dimly lit. “I'm back,” she says to the nurse.

“Shouldn't you be in bed?” The nurse says. She takes a break from her work to look her up and down. She's taking inventory.

“Do you want any help?” Sakura asks. Her hands won't stop fidgeting. She's restless.

By the light of the lantern, she helps the nurse count and store their bandages and tools and medicines. It isn't until she drops her second bottle that the nurse puts a firm hand on her shoulder.

“Why don't you go check on our patients?” The nurse says.

Sakura blinks drowsily, trying to keep her eyes open. “Okay,” she says.

When she softly opens the wooden door, the flickering light illuminates a seated figure. She quickly glances around. All the other cots are empty. 

“Itachi-san,” she says, “what are you doing awake?” She shuts the door behind her and takes a few hesitant steps forward. “Can I get you anything?”

There's a small window above the bed to Itachi’s right. Even still, it takes her eyes a few minutes to adjust to the filtered starlight.

“I should be asking you that,” he says. His legs dangle over the bed, his feet dangling a few inches from the floor. 

“I don't need anything,” Sakura says. She leans heavily against the corner of his cot. 

She's not positive, but she thinks she sees the corner of his mouth twitch up. “Aren't you tired?” is all he says.

“No,” she lies.

He's wearing the short, thin gown they force the patients into when they can. There's a heavy bandage wrapped around his leg, from his ankle to his thigh.

“Why don't you sit with me,” he asks. She jerks her head up to face him, neatly distracted. 

His cot is narrow and the mattress firm. It's hard to clamber up because she's too tingly and tired to use chakra, and her arms feel like noodles. She settles herself against Itachi's chest trustingly. She can feel him tense behind her before he wraps his arms around her. It's nice. She likes hugs.

He shifts underneath her, drawing his legs off the side and leaning back against his pillow. “Would you like to hear a bedtime story?” he asks.

Sakura is a genin and pretty old to be told bedtime stories, but she doesn't want to hurt Itachi's feelings. “Okay,” she says sleepily. Itachi is slender and thin, but he makes a surprisingly comfy pillow.

“Once upon a time,” Itachi starts, and she falls asleep lulled by the steady rhythm of his breaths.


	10. Chapter 10

It's an ordinary day for Sakura. Sai is out on a mission, so she doesn't mind being cooped up in the medical rooms with Kabuto-senpai.

“Sakura-chan,” he says. He's wrist deep in their subject’s chest. “Can you please widen the incision for me?”

She takes the scalpel off the tray. The handle is textured, so it isn't slippery even when it's wet. “Here?” She presses the tip against the beginning of the tear in the subject's skin. 

“Try one inch up, two inches deep.” Kabuto-senpai says. Sakura has to press hard to cut through the thick, ropey muscles. 

“I think I hit the ribs,” she says worriedly. She looks up at Kabuto-senpai. His right hand is carefully rooting through slippery intestines, but he uses his left to push his glasses further up his nose as he smiles at her. He leaves a red smudge on the inside corner of the right lens. She glances anxiously towards the towels. It will be harder to clean once it's dried.

“That's alright,” Kabuto-senpai says kindly. “try again, aim more towards the center. Maybe a half inch to your left.”

When she goes back to her work, she makes the mistake of locking eyes with the subject. Kabuto-senpai made sure to gag it because she still gets spooked if they yell, and that messes up her clean cuts. But he never bothers to do anymore than a gag and basic restraints. Its eyes are bloodshot and watery.

She sticks her tongue out at it for trying to scare her and returns to the hard work of helping Kabuto with his vivisection.

When even Kabuto-senpai can't keep the subject alive anymore while they poke inside of it, he makes sure she washes her hands then lets her go free. 

“Thank you for the lesson today, senpai!” she says, bowing. She grabs a clean towel and dips it in the cool water. Kabuto-senpai indulgently leans over and lets her wipe the smudge from his glasses.

“Thank you, Sakura-chan,” he says. She bows again, carefully shuts the door behind her, and runs off in search of someone else to play with.

She finds Gai-senpai training with one of his friends. They are both very sweaty and gross, and the grassy field is littered with knives. “Can I help pick up?” she says breathlessly. 

Gai-senpai beams at her. He has a really nice smile. It always makes her smile back. “Of course you may!” he says, his voice booming across the clearing. “Let us make it a glorious challenge! I will walk only on my hands, and we will see who collects the most weaponry!” 

His friend is quiet. While Sakura dashes around from knife to knife, trying to collect them before Gai-senpai can, the other shinobi leans coolly against a tree. She almost runs into him on accident, when she dives out on her knees to grab a throwing star before Gai-senpai can. By the time she looks up to apologise, he's already somehow perched high up above her on a branch.

“Forgive my friend,” Gai-senpai says to her when she's handing him her share of the collection. He's speaking quieter than usual, and she has to perk up on her tiptoes to hear him. “He does not yet appreciate the burning flame of young warriors!”

Sakura brushes her hands on her shorts. “It's okay,” she says magnanimously. “Thank you for letting me help you today, Gai-senpai!”

She'd lost by three knives, but Gai-senpai still gives her a packet of pocky as a reward. He has to go and work more with his friend, so she says her goodbyes and starts her next search.

“Itachi-san!” She finally finds him south of the outpost. There's a small lake that she and Sai sometimes go swimming in, but he's still wearing all his regular clothes. Even still, she likes being in the water, so she asks him hopefully, “are you going swimming?”

There's a man standing next to him. He looks a little familiar, and she thinks maybe she's been on a mission with him before. He's dressed for the water. He waves at her, and she waves back, before he takes off at a run and jumps into the lake.

“No,” Itachi says. He sits down cross legged in the grass. Sakura eagerly scrambles down next to him.

“Then here!” She holds out the packet of pocky proudly. “Would you like some?”

He takes the offered treat. Itachi opens the package carefully, like she might need to seal it back up and return it to Gai-senpai. He takes only one stick even though there are tons and then hands the package back to her.

“Thank you, Sakura-chan,” he says. She smiles back at him, big and and with lots of teeth like she's been practicing, then also very carefully takes one stick out too. Itachi eats slowly, taking one careful bite at a time. Sakura mimics him even though it's really hard to eat that slowly when the pocky is so good and sweet.

Itachi helps her practice her fire breathing when they finish their snack. “Be careful,” he says. “Use only just enough chakra to keep the flame alive. It takes more to start it than sustain it.”

By the end of the afternoon, Sakura’s hair is singed and her lungs are full of smoke. “Thank you Itachi-san!” She bows. 

“Thank you for the pocky,” Itachi says. When she peeks at him through her bangs, he's smiling. Itachi’s smiles are small and soft and hard to notice like Sai’s. 

She runs back to the outpost. “Are they back?” she asks the gate guard. She chuckles, nodding her head back at command. 

“Just missed them,” she says. 

Sakura beams at her in joy. “Thank you!” she says, then rushes back to her bunk. She grabs her sketchbook and brushes and then runs over to the center of camp. She doesn't have to wait long before her friend finishes reporting.

“Hello Sakura,” Sai starts, but she doesn't give him time to finish before she’s slamming into him, wrapping her arms tight around his back. 

“I missed you!” she exclaims. She hugs him tight. “How did it go?”

“The mission was fine,” Sai says. She leans away from him and pouts, because that's all he ever says. But she's in too good of a mood to let it be spoiled, so she grabs his hand and determinedly drags him away.

“Close your eyes,” she says, and Sai obediently follows her instructions. Sai is always willing to go along with what she says. She hums happily to herself as she sets up her work.

“Are you ripping paper?” Sai asks. Sakura turns around to glare at him, but his eyes are still shut.

“Just a little bit longer!” she says. She gathers some rocks to hold everything down. “And, tahdah!” 

Sai opens his eyes on cue. They're wider than usual. He takes one step forward. “They're for you!” Sakura says.

He touches the first drawing hesitantly, like he isn't sure if the ink is dry yet. Sakura made sure she finished these early in the morning, though, so she's sure they're safe to touch. “Is this you?” he asks, tracing the swirls of her hair.

“Uh huh,” she says. She stands next to him and points at the far drawing. She'd been inspired from his drawings he'd shown her from his sketchbook. “And this is you! You were easier because you don't even need colored inks,” she says. 

Sai is silent for a few anxious minutes more. “These are good,” he finally says, and she beams at him.

“Thank you for teaching me!” she says. She hugs him again, arms wrapping tight around him like she'd drawn in the centerpiece. 

She takes out the pocky and forces him to try it. “It's very sweet,” Sai says. Somehow he makes it sound like a complaint. 

“You can pick our treat next year then,” she says. She scoots closer to him and drags his arm around her. He looks at her, forehead wrinkled, but bemusedly leaves it be.

“Happy birthday,” he says.

“Happy birthday!” she says back.


	11. Chapter 11

She doesn't know why she wakes up.

Sai is next to her, eyes closed in sleep. The camp is quiet. She doesn't have to pee, and she's not thirsty.

She sneaks out of her blankets anyway, creeps over Sai and past some other genin, and pokes her head out the door.

It's quiet. 

Sakura tiptoes across the wet grass. When she rounds the corner, the only light comes from the medical post. 

It's not unusual. Patients need a lot of care. She's done night shifts before.

She creeps back to her bed and nudges Sai.

“What is it?” he whispers. Unlike Sakura, Sai is never cranky when he gets woken up. He sits obediently when she pulls at him and lets her lead him outside. 

“Do you need to relieve yourself?” he asks. 

She furiously shakes her head no. “There's a light at medical,” she says. She bites her lip. She doesn't know what's wrong, and she doesn't know how to say that.

“Let's go see if they need help,” Sai says. She grabs his hand, and they walk quietly across the outpost.

When she opens the door to medical, it's the most crowded she's ever seen it. She recognizes Itachi, sitting on a bed, his arms covered in oozing burns. Even Gai-senpai and his friend are there, standing on the other side of the room. There's a cut across Gai's face that is bleeding sluggishly, and his friend is holding a makeshift bandage over it.

Someone takes ahold of her arm. She startles a little and looks up, but it's only Kabuto-senpai.

“You shouldn't be awake, Sakura-chan,” he says quietly. His voice is barely more than a whisper. 

It hits her then, what the strangest part about that night is. 

The room is full of injured shinobi and quickly moving medics, but none of them are making a sound.

No one in the entire camp is speaking.

Kabuto-senpai ushers her towards Itachi. She follows obediently, tugging Sai with her. 

“Here,” she whispers. She gently tugs the tub of cream out of Itachi’s hand. His eyes flash red for a second when they land on her.

Itachi is quiet as she slathers the cream across the wreckage of his arms. His fingers dig deep into the sheet, and she hopes it doesn't hurt too much. Sai helpfully holds the cream and hands her new bandages before she can even think to ask for them.

Somehow, even in the almost silent gathering, there's a sudden hush that brings everyone to a standstill. Sakura follows Itachi’s gaze and looks towards the center of the room. A black haired shinobi staggers away from an old man standing next to a table against the back wall. 

Even though she still hasn't finished wrapping Itachi’s left arm, he slips off the bed before she can stop him. He catches the faltering shinobi with his bandaged arm despite the fact that it must hurt awfully. Gai and another jounin are on them a second later, pulling them over to the side as Kabuto and the head medic rush over.

Sakura tugs at Sai's sleeve, and he puts the burn cream on the side table. There's a crowd gathering near the back wall, but her focus is on Itachi and the blood seeping through his mussed bandages.

Gai’s friend jostles her as he pushes his way towards the back, and her eyes are drawn after him for a brief second. There's a body resting unconscious on the table, ragged blonde hair spilling over the side.

There's enough medics over there that she knows she can't do any good, so she lets the thought race through her mind and focuses the whole of her attention on assisting Kabuto-senpai.

That's the night the war ends.


	12. Chapter 12

Coming home is strange. She's been away for so long, the site of the towering gates catches her by surprise.

“I'll show you my room first,” she says generously to Sai. He must have been impressed by the sight of the village too, because ever since they walked through the gates, he's held onto her hand punishingly tight. She squeezes his palm, but he doesn't get the hint and loosen up.

The streets of Konoha are overflowing. She's never seen so many people crowded in one place in her whole life. It almost makes her grateful to have Sai clinging to her side as they dodge through the throngs of gossiping and embracing adults.

She leads him to the park first on accident, but she's walked home alone from there more times than she can count, so then it's easy to find her street. “I wonder if mommy and daddy are home,” she says excitedly.

“Mommy and daddy?” Sai says. He says it like the words are completely unfamiliar to him, and Sakura blushes. 

“Mama and papa,” she corrects herself. She's a genin now, which means she needs to talk like a grown up.

The door is locked. It takes her a few minutes to shuffle through her bags until she finds her house key. “Come in!” She opens the door with a flourish and immediately kicks her sandals off and drops her luggage on the floor.

“You can leave your stuff here for now,” she says to Sai. He walks through the entranceway cautiously, eyes scanning the room like an enemy shinobi might be lurking behind the coffee table.

“Are you hungry?” Sakura asks. She'd been too busy trying to keep pace on the journey home to get out her snack bars, and she's starving.

“It's not lunchtime,” Sai says after glancing at the clock. Sakura rolls her eyes and drags him into the kitchen. 

She pours rice and water into the rice cooker and opens the fridge. It's almost completely empty. There's a carton of eggs, and when she pulls it out, she sees there's a date written on the top in permanent marker.

“Sai, what's today?” she asks as she gets out two bowls and the soy sauce. 

“The tenth,” he says. The eggs are still good then.

“Come on, come on,” she says as she grabs his hand and pulls him out of the kitchen. “I'll show you my room while the rice cooks.”

The stairs seem a lot shorter than she remembers. When she gets to the top, she looks back and can't believe she used to find them scary.

Sai's grip is slowly tightening on her hand, so she hurries forward and opens her door. “Mister bunny!” She dashes forward, Sai tripping after her, and picks up the stuffed animal resting on her neatly made bed. She buries her face in it. It smells faintly of flowers and spices, like her mommy’s perfume.

“Hello Sai,” she makes the bunny say. “It's so nice to meet you!”

Sai hesitates, looking intently at the animal like it might turn into a real bunny and bite. “Hello,” he says softly. He kneels on the carpet and solemnly shakes its worn soft paw. “Nice to meet you.”

She has to finally tug her hand away from Sai’s when she runs to the closet and flings open the doors. “These are my clothes!” she says. She pulls out her favorite dresses and Sai smiles stiffly at each of them. 

“Maybe I should take a bath,” Sakura finally says. She's proudly displayed all her outfits on her desk. She looks longingly at the soft, flower scented fabrics.

“Should I check on the rice?” Sai asks. He's seated cross legged in the floor. Mister bunny rests awkwardly in his lap.

“The rice!” Sakura skids out of her room and races down the staircase. “Let's eat!” she says as she opens the cupboard and jumps up on the counter to reach the plates.

She takes out two bowls, ladles them full of rice, then cracks an egg in each. “Now we have to wait five minutes,” she turns and says sternly to Sai. He's standing in the entranceway to the kitchen, mister bunny dangling from his slightly outstretched hand.

“After eating, you can show me your house,” she says. She sits down at the kitchen table and places the covered bowls in front of her. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” 

“I used to have a brother,” Sai says. He sits at the table next to her. She slides a bowl over, and he fiddles with the lip of the plate.

Sakura grabs at the stuffed animal. “Mister bunny is kind of like my brother,” she says. She sets him gently on the table between them. It takes a while to get him propped up properly, so he won't fall over. Sai watches her carefully, like they're back at the academy and what she's doing might be tested on.

“I've missed Sakura so much,” she makes the bunny say. “Do you miss your brother, Sai?”

“Yes,” he finally says. “It's been five minutes.”

Sakura claps her hands together. “Let's eat!”

She's so hungry, the rice tastes delicious. They've scraped their plates clean before another five minutes have passed. 

“Now you can show me your house!” Sakura says. She has to tug hard at Sai’s bowl to get it out of his hands. The bowls go in the sink to soak, and she drags Sai back to the front door.

They stand on the corner of her street for a few moments. “This way,” Sai makes up his mind and says.

The village streets are still loud and bustling. Thankfully, Sai holds her hand tight, so she doesn't worry about losing him. 

He leads her past the market street where the candy stalls hawk fresh celebratory mochi and dango. Sakura’s mouth waters, but Sai walks seriously like he's on a mission, and she doesn't want to hold him up.

They walk, and they walk, and they walk. 

Sakura is used to running on missions. She's reluctantly been trying to follow Gai-senpai's advice and do practice sprints every morning. Somehow, walking slowly through the village, dodging around boring still adults and rambunctious children, is a whole different kind of exhausting. She's so tired of bumping into off duty shinobi that they are all starting to blur and look familiar.

“Are we close yet?” she asks. Sai has pulled them over to a bench, and he looks like he's getting a rock out of his sandals. It takes him a long, long time to work it free.

“Yes,” he says, but he doesn't sound very sure. When he looks up from his sandals, his cheeks are the slightest bit flushed. 

Sai's a better shinobi than she is. He can run for hours without showing the slightest sign of tiredness. Sakura scoots right up next to him on the bench and wraps her arms around him as tight as she can. 

“Did you forget how to find your house?" she asks compassionately. Sai's been out of Konoha at least as long as she has.

He freezes underneath her arms. “It's okay,” she says hurriedly. “I almost didn't remember how to get to my house before we found the park.”

At last, he relaxes. He keeps his arms at his side, but he tucks his chin against her neck. His nose is cold. 

“I forgot,” he says. 

Sakura squeezes him tighter. “Do you see anyone you know?” She leans away from him and surveys the crowds in the park. He follows her, ducking his head against her chest. She can feel him shake his head no against her.

“We could ask the hokage,” she starts to say. Faster than she can see, his hands grab on tight to her shoulders. 

“No,” he says angrily. He glares down at, and her heart skips a beat. Sai has never, ever been mad at her, and for a second he's bigger and stronger than she is, and it's scary.

But then the second passes, and it's her best friend and partner, so she swallows painfully and shakily nods her head. “Okay,” she says. Her throat is dry.

Sai's hands relax on her shoulders, and he looks back at the crowds in the park. Sakura worries at her lip.

“Do you wanna sleepover at my house tonight?” she asks. 

It's quiet for a minute more. She fidgets with her hair.

“Okay,” Sai says quietly. He lets his hands fall off of her shoulders and to his sides as he stands up.

Sai leads them back to her house. He must have really been lost, because it took them forever to search for his, but they somehow make it back to hers in only ten minutes.

Sakura looks at the floor while they take off their shoes, but her parents still haven't come home. The sun has started to set, and her fingers are chilled from the night air. 

“I'll run us a bath,” she says to Sai. 

The water comes out of the tap steaming hot. She hands Sai the soap, and he obediently scrubs himself down. She follows suit. When they've both rinsed off the grime from their travels, she ushers Sai towards the tub and climbs in next to him.

It takes her a long time to work up the nerve to glance at his face, but when she does, he still has that sad, pinched look on it. 

“It'll be okay,” Sakura immediately says. She tries to pat his arm consolingly. She can't imagine how scary it would be to make it all the way back to Konoha and not be able to find mommy or daddy or her whole house. “You can always sleep here.”

Sai turns away from her and tucks his head into his arms. “Thank you,” he eventually says.

They sit in the warm bath until Sakura looks down and realizes her fingers have gone all pruny. She's sleepy, nice and full and warm, so it's a struggle to force herself out of the tub and wrap herself in the cold towel.

“Here you go,” she says and offers a different towel to Sai. They dry off in silence, and she feels awkward in a way she never has been before with him. 

Sai goes to the front room to get new clothes while she trudges up the stairs to put on her old pajamas. The sleeves are too tight, and they pull awkwardly at her shoulders when she tries to raises her arms up.

“Here,” Sai says. She spins around to find him holding a kunai. She's got scissors in her desk, but she happily flounces down on the floor. Sai sits on her left and carefully takes ahold of her arm. The kunai is very, very sharp, but he doesn't even nick her a little as he slices through her sleeve.

“Thank you,” she says and smiles at him, nice and big and bright. His expression waivers a little, and for one horrifying second she's afraid he is going to cry, but then he tries to mimic her, lips stretched grotesquely, and she rolls onto her back in a helpless fit of giggles.

“Too many teeth!” Sakura exclaims between gasping breaths. When she calms down enough to peek up at him again, he's got mister bunny blocking the lower half of his face. His eyes shine above the soft folds of its ears.

“Is this better?” He pulls at the corners of mister bunny’s plush face, stretching its sewn mouth into a smile.

“Silly,” Sakura says. She flails her hands wildly in the air until Sai takes ahold of them and pulls her up. 

“Come on!” Before he can think to let go, she rolls onto her feet and tugs him up with her. Mister bunny falls to the floor between them. She leaves it there and pulls Sai towards the stairs.

“What are we doing?” Sai asks. She ignores him, her silly grin still stretching her cheeks so wide they're starting to hurt.

When they reach the kitchen, she spins around and points a stern finger at him. “Close your eyes!” she orders him.

“You're opening the fridge,” Sai says, but she ignores the question implicit in his blind observation. As quietly as she can, she takes a plate from the freezer and peels off the plastic wrap. She shoves the whole thing in the toaster oven and turns the dial. 

She makes Sai play hand games with her while the toaster heats up. Even with his eyes closed and being a boy, he's somehow better at keeping track and rhythm than she is. When the toaster clicks, she spins back to it with a pout he can't see, but even as she tries to look disappointed, she can't stop the edges of her mouth from twitching up. She's excited.

“Alright,” Sakura says. The plate is hot, so she picks it up with a cloth towel carefully. “Open your eyes!”

Sai keeps his eyes closed a couple seconds to frustrate her. When he finally deigns to play along, he looks down at her hands and wrinkles his forehead. “Happy?” he asks dubiously.

“Happy Sai's sleeping over!” Sakura corrects him. She's beaming as she hands him a fork. “It might be a little stale,” she says self consciously. “I had it in the freezer for a long time.”

Sai takes the fork, and they sit close to each other at the corner of the table. Even though the cake is a little dry, and Sai always complains when she makes him eat sweets, the only sound to be heard in the entire house is the quiet clinks of their forks against the porcelain.

“Thank you, Sakura.” Sai says as she puts the dishes in the sink and starts to wash them. She turns towards him and smiles again.

“No problem!” The water has loosened the rice, and she doesn't have to scrub hardly at all to get the bowls clean. “Sorry if it was stale,” she adds on.

Sai gets a towel and drys the cleaned dishes before she can even think to ask him to. Before long, the kitchen is all straightened up, and they have to dig through their bags to unearth their toothbrushes.

Sakura’s so tired she wants to just fall into bed, fuzzy teeth and all, but Sai's watching her carefully. She drags her feet as she leads him towards the bathroom and then brushes her teeth as quickly as she can.

The house is fully dark now, and Sakura almost misses a stair when they head up to her room. Sai catches her with a strong, small hand on her back.

“Thank you,” she whispers. Even though there's nobody else in the house, walking around in the dark makes her feel like they're sneaking around.

She's far, far too tired to see if they have a spare futon, so she just climbs into her bed and holds the blankets up so Sai can follow her. 

Her bed is huge, and they're still small. It's actually really nice to have Sai right next to her. She puts her cold feet on his calves, and he doesn't even flinch.

“Goodnight,” Sakura says. The edges of her bed are freezing, but Sai burns like a furnace next to her. She's so tired, she falls asleep almost instantly, and can hardly register Sai’s quiet response.

“Goodnight,” he says, and she curls herself protectively around him and lets sleep take her.


	13. Chapter 13

Sometimes she has nightmares.

She's getting a growth spurt, and her muscles ache underneath her skin. Sometimes she lies in bed, crying as quiet as she can, until Sai notices and turns on the light. He doesn't give very good leg rubs, but his hands are strong and don't tire. It helps.

Sakura’s started having this recurring fantasy. She's laying on her stomach, but she's also standing up and looking down at herself. She's naked, and her hair is parted neatly at the nape of her neck. 

She takes a scalpel and presses the sharp tip against her hairline. The metal is cold as it slices through her skin and muscle and just barely scrapes against her vertebrae. She pulls the knife down, down, down, splitting her skin and muscles like a ripe summer peach.

When she reaches the end of her spine, she stops and puts down the scalpel. Carefully, she peels her flesh away and then threads her fingers through her ribs. Her skeleton slides smoothly out of her body. Its bleached white bones shine in the sunlight.

It comes out in one whole piece, humerus and radius and ulna tugging free from her arms, femur and tibia and fibula ripping themselves from her legs. She holds the skeleton up in the air and gives it one shake, and that's enough to scatter the last few droplets of clinging blood. Her body falls off the table, legs and arms like hollowed puppet shells, and she's glad to see it go.

She drops the skeleton, and it stands up on the bones of its own two feet. Suddenly she is the skeleton, and she's left the aching muscles and stretching skin of her previous body behind. She feels light and free, like she could run as far as the horizon, could jump and float up into the vast expanse of the sky.

This isn't one of those dreams.

Sakura can barely open her eyes. Her pink hair is mussed and strewn across her face. When she tries to brush it out of the way, her hands won't cooperate. 

Everything is hazy. Even her racing thoughts move like they're running through a cotton candy field, sticky and colorful and slow.

She can see someone moving out of the corner of her eyes, but when she tries to say something, she realizes her mouth is already open. She can't see her lips. She can't bring her hand to her face. It's too difficult to muster the strength to concentrate on her mouth and her eyes, so she lets her eyelids fall greedily forward and tries to move her tongue. 

Metal. Cold and sharp, lubricated with something coppery and slippery. 

There are hooks in her mouth, holding her open.

Saliva pools underneath her dry tongue, and when she tries to swallow, she can't. There's something thin and hard shoved down the column of her throat.

Panic fuels her. Her eyes snap open, and she looks desperately from side to side.

“... awake?” someone is saying. Sakura strains her ears, tries her hardest to listen, but her head is full of clouds and the words whistle past her, incomprehensible.

Someone nudges her table. It swivels around, and the sudden lurch causes her stomach to seize in protest. Sakura blinks because it is all she can do. She pulls at her aching legs, but even her ankles feel like they're chained down.

A cool, impersonal hand brushes across her forehead, and her bangs no longer obstruct her vision. She skips past the white walls, sterile counters, and focuses on the splash of color near the far corner.

One, two, three, four… There are dolls strewn haphazardly across the floor. She tries to count them, but there's something heavy burning through her veins that makes it hard to concentrate.

(Absentmindedly, like she's floating high up in a cloud above it all, she realizes her body is in horrific pain.)

One of the dolls looks broken. It's a few feet away from the others. It has red hair that someone has shaved on one side and a nasty bloody tattoo that stretches across its forehead. It's wearing a flimsy white and brown dress.

The other toys are dressed in regular, everyday outfits. One has long, strawberry blonde hair. Sakura likes her bright pink hair better. 

A shadow falls across her face. Someone is leaning over her. They fiddle with the tube going down her throat.

“Kabuto-senpai?” Sakura says, or tries to. Her lips move like they were coated in molasses and left to bake in the sun, and it hurts her throat to speak. She doesn't recognize the words that come out of her mouth.

Her dream's version of Kabuto-senpai straightens back up. He's wearing a dirty white lab coat with the sleeves rolled tight to his elbows.

He says something, and she isn't sure if it's meant for her or someone else because she can't understand a word of it. He steps back, and a larger figure briefly looms over her. Their hair tickles her cheek.

Time passes in that funny way it does in dreams. She could have lied there for hours, or minutes, or days.

The door slams open.

“Sakura,” someone says. Their voice is smooth and husky and familiar. She tries to crane her head and speak but finds she isn't capable of either.

The tube in her throat hurts when it moves, and she gags as it's pulled out. Slender fingers probe her mouth. Her jaw aches as she is finally able to press her cracking lips together.

Her blood is pounding in her head, so loud and forceful that she can't pay attention to the conversation being had right over her. A burning hot hand wraps around her wrist, and she whimpers as an intravenous tube is jerked out of her arm. The following sting of medical chakra burns through her veins.

Someone slides an arm around her back and pulls her to a sitting position. Moving makes the world blur, and she vomits a little in her lap. The veins of her legs are distorted, bulging and purple against her blanched skin. Sakura traces their branching patterns with her eyes as an impersonal cloth wipes the worst of her vomit from her white dress.

The world lurches again as she's swept off the bed and against a strong chest. “... alright,” someone is saying. Sakura moans unhappily. She hopes they're talking to her.

They leave the hospital room behind. She's sick twice more. Whoever is carrying her is careful, however, and she only messes the sleeve of their clothes the first time.

“Sakura,” the person is saying, and she tries to jolt herself awake. “Sakura?”

Her vision is still blurred, sickeningly hot blood coursing too rapidly through her veins, but she finally manages to focus her vision on the pale face staring down at her.

She must mumble something, because that pale face relaxes even as their arms tighten around her. They're saying something to her, their voice low and focused and questioning. Sakura tries to pay attention, but her eyelids feel ten times as heavy as usual, and she burrows her face against their neck.

The next time she opens her eyes, she's starting at her ceiling. Starlight shines in from her window when the breeze ruffles her curtains.

“Sleep,” a quiet voice says, and she lets her head roll to the side. Sai lies next to her. It must be almost morning by the noises echoing through the house from the kitchen, but Sakura is still very tired.

She sleeps.


	14. Chapter 14

When Sakura wakes up, she finds that she and Sai have been summoned to the hokage’s tower. 

“What time are we supposed to be there?” she asks as she stumbles out of bed. Sai, already dressed, sits on her desk chair.

“Seven,” he says.

Sakura picks her nicest dress out of the closet and turns her back to Sai. “What time is it now?” she says. Her voice is muffled by thick folds of fabric.

“Five past six thirty,” Sai says. At her dismayed squeak, he tosses her a hairbrush.

They definitely, definitely do not have time for breakfast. Sakura rushes through the kitchen and grabs two apples. Sai is already at the front door, and he locks it obediently behind them.

Then they are off.

The village streets are bustling. Even at this early hour, shops are opening and shinobi are returning from their night shifts. Sakura scarfs down the apple as neatly as she can while Sai leads her through the morning crowds.

“State your purpose,” a bored man says when they walk through the door to the tower. He's seated behind a wide desk. From her vantage point, he is almost completely concealed by the stacks of paper littering its surface. 

“Haruno Sakura and Sai reporting for a seven o'clock meeting with the hokage,” Sai promptly says. The secretary looks slowly from Sai to Sakura. Nervous, she brushes her bangs to the side to better display her forehead protector.

“Go on,” the man says. He looks back down at his stack of papers. Sakura and Sai walk up the stairs in silence.

There is a small row of shabby folding chairs in the alcove outside of the hokage’s office. Sai sits in the chair second furthest from the door then pulls her into the seat on his right. 

The only other person in the room is sitting near the office door, their face shadowed by their long hair. It doesn't look like they are paying any attention to the two of them, but Sakura knows they are probably being watched. She wants to fiddle with her hands, but she tries her hardest to force herself to sit still and straight like Sai.

The door to the hokage's office opens a second before the clock on the wall hits seven. “Come in,” a familiar voice says. Sakura almost trips as she scrambles up from her chair. 

“Good morning Itachi-senpai,” she chirps. Sai is standing so close to her, she can feel him jump the tiniest bit at her words. Itachi-senpai just smiles back at them.

He shuts the door behind them, and when Sakura turns to bow deeply towards the hokage, she's surprised to see the kid from the waiting room bowing alongside her. Their hair is so silky and long that it brushes that floor when they dip down. Sakura is terribly jealous.

“Good morning children,” the hokage says. His voice is hoarse and not much louder than a whisper. Sakura shivers as she holds her bow as deep as she can.

“Good morning hokage-sama,” they all chorus. Sakura peeks through her bangs. The hokage is smiling warmly down at them, and something deep in her chest burns bright to see it.

“Itachi,” the hokage says, “I was very surprised to receive your request.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura can see Sai straighten his back. She follows suit, although she keeps her face respectfully turned down.

“I believe I can best serve my village by helping raise its next generation,” Itachi says. His voice is smoother than Sakura has ever heard it.

“We each must do our part in preserving the strength of our village,” the hokage says. Sakura wants to bite her lip, or twist her fingers together, or even scrunch her toes, but she's mindful of her manners and tries her hardest to stay completely still through the adult conversation.

“I will serve that ideal faithfully as long as I have the pleasure of being your obedient servant,” Sakura almost jumps when a soft hand brushes across the back of her neck. It presses briefly down, then pulls up, and she follows the implicit instruction and straightens up. She keeps her eyes locked respectfully below the hokage’s chin.

The hokage smiles, the faint scars on his face twisting in a manner that makes Sakura wonder if they still hurt. “I wish you luck as team seven then,” he says. 

Sakura’s toes curl in her sandals. Team seven! With Sai and Itachi-senpai! 

“Thank you hokage-sama,” Itachi says with another gentle push across Sakura’s shoulders, and she hastily echoes him. Her lips want to turn up so badly, it hurts her cheeks to keep them still for the tortuously long seconds it takes for them to exit the hokage’s office. Sai catches and squeezes her hand as soon as the door shuts behind them, and she presses back as hard as she can. 

Itachi-senpai leads them out of the hokage’s tower with a quick but even stride. They come to a stop in a nearby park. 

“My name is Uchiha Itachi,” he says. The park is quiet and empty, but even still Sakura has to lean forward in an attempt to hear him over the gurgling stream. His voice is soft in the early morning light.

“Starting from today, we will be team seven.” He looks over at each of them carefully, and Sakura’s face burns when his eyes land on hers. The corner of his mouth quirks up reassuringly.

Sakura tugs at Sai’s shirt and pulls him into a bow with her. “Please take good care of us,” she says. 

\------

They're canvassing Grass. 

Sakura's been assigned to a small town a few days travel from their hidden village. When she walks through the streets, her forehead bare and cheap clothes coated with grime, the people avert their eyes but do not bother to hide their gossip.

A group of men are telling tales outside of a dingy drinking establishment. Sakura crouches in the dusty road, wraps her arms around her belly like she is hungry. She is. It's been a long day.

“-their nurse,” one of the men is saying. He holds his hands out lasciviously, and his fellows laugh. 

A few days past, a team from kusagakure had traveled through the town returning from some mission. In their wake, the gossip is lively and free flowing.

“You know what they say about redheads,” a man slurs. Sakura fights the urge to bring a nervous hand up to her pink hair and concentrates on looking pitiful and inconspicuous.

It isn't until nightfall that she unbends her aching legs and heads towards the outskirts of the city. Besides a hard roll an elderly woman had passed her around noon, she hasn't eaten since before dawn. Her stomach is tight and cold and angry, pinching her with every shuffled step she takes through the thin night air.

Sakura has never seen somewhere so bereft of trees. It takes her ages to trudge slowly through the wide open plains until the town is far enough away that she can run without having to fear she will be observed. Prickly weeds catch against her legs. It's irritating in a way she's not used to, and she focuses on that distraction to help forget the unceasing ache below her ribs.

After what seems like ages, a small fire beckons on the horizon. Sakura races towards it, feeling lighter with each step.

She skids to a stop, sandals slipping against a patch of matted grass. Itachi looks down at her through his eyelashes. “Your report,” he says. They stand alone in the camp, and she has to squash a smile at her victory.

Kusagakure has stolen something that belongs to Konoha. The hokage told them it was very, very important that they find that something, and bring it back as soon as they could. “I think I found a possibile lead,” Sakura says, stumbling only slightly over her words as she tries to catch her breath. She's felt over exposed this whole day, alone without even the familiar trees of fire country to hide between, but standing underneath Itachi-sensei’s shadow, she feels safe. 

Her teammates return before she's finished her report. Sai stands at and a little behind her side, hands clasped lightly in front of his body. Beneath the dirt smudged artfully across his cheeks, his skin shines in the flickering fire light. 

The bright grass country sun hasn't done her any favors either. When she wipes her hand across her face, her cheeks are scaldingly hot. She's going to be peeling in a few days. 

Her third teammate is kneeling on the other side of the fire, rooting through his backpack. Despite his pale eyes, he seems to have fared the best out of them. His arms and face have already darkened to a pale but definite tan. 

“So they will have already arrived at Kusagakure,” Itachi-sensei says. He keeps his body angled towards her, but turns his head to the west, where the hidden village waits.

“Yes sensei,” Sakura says. Her voice rasps. Her hands hang loose at her sides, and she startles a little when she feels a hard waterskin being pressed into one of them. She drinks quickly and hands it back to Sai with a hastily whispered thanks.

“And what do yo have to say?” Itachi-sensei asks, focusing his attention on Sai. Sakura takes the granted reprieve to crouch beside her other teammate and look through her own cache of supplies. Her thighs scream in protest for the many long minutes it takes her fingers to fumble through looking for her lotion.

She has to hold back a whimper as she smoothes the creamy solution over her arms. She's so hot, she doesn't even care that it's mixing with the dirt and smearing mud across her skin. Even that almost feels good as it provides a cold and calming barrier against the muggy night air.

When Sai finishes talking with sensei, he sits still as a doll as she takes the same careful care of his skin. As soon as she's finished, he pulls her to her sore feet, and they head off a little ways from the camp to see what there is to eat.

There are no tree squirrels, but if they stand very still and silence their breathing, small mice and rabbits can be heard darting through the underbrush. Sai catches two rabbits. She manages to spear three small rodents, and she's so hungry she doesn't even balk at gutting and splitting them open.

They take their kills back to the camp. She spends a few fruitless moments scanning the ground for sticks before her third teammate disdainfully hands her some ninja wire. She threads it carefully through the mice, then passes one end to Sai, and they rotate the meat over the fire in silence.

Itachi-sensei unseals his supplies. She watches out of the corner of her eyes as he fills a large pot with water. He takes a deep breath, holds it for a second, and then breathes out slivers of hotly glowing flames. Sakura can't even hold her breath for as long as he unceasingly whispers carefully controlled fire. 

Finally, he stops. He opens three packages of noodles and drops their contents into his pot. Sakura can hear the water roil against the sides of the container as he agitates it, and her mouth starts watering when the scent of the seasoning packets wafts close to her. 

By the time their meat is fairly well done, Itachi-sensei directs them to drop it in glistening morsels into the pot. All four of them sit around it. Sakura is so hungry, she thinks the noodles, greasy with animal fat and salty enough to make her famished blood sing, might be the best meal she's ever eaten.

The next day, they head for kusagakure.

**Author's Note:**

> I love all your guesses in the comments!


End file.
